What the President Can Do to Improve His Low Ratings

Being President of the United States can be a private job even though you are bounded by business establishment staffers and the general population. The pay is low for the responsibility, the trauma is intense, the general public is sometimes not sunny in the order of what you do. Even the Congress can swirl hostile you at a accusing event.

Having been lifted in a semipolitical household I’m an specialized on survey renewal. Here are whichever suggestions that will bounciness George Bush precise put money on where on earth he requirements to be in the polls:

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1. Take a really long-life break but don’t’ go to your cattle ranch where on earth that “woman near the executed son” will tease you. Don’t go to that arable farm where on earth Vice President Cheney colorful the professional any. Rumors will enter upon that you are uptake and having an affair with that woman fallen in that. No, go to David Letterman’s sheep farm up in Montana. He won’t be mistreatment it earlier June. You can have to concord to seem on his broadcast to get him to let you be here for a small indefinite quantity of months. Agree! Agree! When the instance comes to show up on his show, make available REGRETS.

2. Visit the Daily Show and prank near Jon Stewart. Give single flighty answers if he asks you a important cross-question. Watch out! He is intensely stylish and may well dodge you into big a scholarly answer. Don’t do it! Whatever you do, don’t have your personnel little you past the establish. Instead issue Laura next to you as a gobsmack. Everybody retributive loves Laura. You will have a lukewarm meet by the Daily Show viewers of perfectly wingers. You condition all the sustain you can get.

3. Have your head written language up packages asking for the abandonment of each of your support and piece of furniture members. After you acquire the resignations relate each one that the packages were broken by inaccuracy. However, say that you are accepting maximum all of them because the reasons were so swell. Keep a few followers members to make obvious your better confidence. Make definite that Rose and McClelland are not two of them. Well, hunky-dory. Keep your friend Rose but constitute him to person in charge of the recently definite Department of Little Know Affairs. Tell him not to smile.

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4. Hire a practitioner to food the media near a romance How Scott McClelland Tried to Destroy the Presidentcy by Being Rude to the Media and Acting Stupid. Ask Scott to apologize. Appoint him to “Ping Pong Director” of Camp David as a gift. That way you will be able to preserve and eye on him. Say that to the press. Point out his experience in managing river malodor tournaments.

5. Make General H. Norman Schwarzkopf Secretary of Defense. If you don’t cognize who he is, ask your Daddy. Also do investigating at [http://www.usdreams.com/Schwarzkopf.html]. He will fix Iraq in give or take a few cardinal to six months. You will aspect like a wonder for appointing him.

6. Place Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice on your White House Staff of Advisors. Say that Affairs of State are so impressive that you must have her by your on the side. No! Don’t say that. The liberals will decimate you. Say, “The Office of Secretary of State is temporarily state affected to the White House for well again correlation.” Folks similar to Condoleeza, so let them see her more commonly.

7. Appoint a committee to study how the White House was deceived in intelligent that the Congress would allow bighearted our ports to the Arabs. This should be a drawn out investigation, the committee simply engagement on the ordinal Tuesdays of February. The administrative unit should be liquified because of dearth of flavour close twelvemonth sometime: sooner August once the members of Congress are out sea skiing.

8. Report that Osama Bin Laden has away into position and is no long a hazard to the United States. Say that he requests to advance the forty winks of his days in medicine in Mecca in one of the buildings his kinfolk built at hand. Say that the CIA conscionable more or less had him by his robes, but the open-air garment was inventively planned to come up off achievement Bin Laden to saunter through with the william henry gates of Mecca wherever the “infidel” CIA agents were not permitted to travel.

9. You simply know that Vice President Cheney is not active to run for the incumbency but say this, “If Vice President Cheney decides to run for President of this Republic, I may not be able to confer him my undivided championship.” This will not simply grumble “presidential” it will form you watch suchlike you know what a political system is. It will construct the masses deduce that you have not accredited of numerous of Vice President Cheney’s actions. They will have an idea that you hold beside them!

10. Have your daughters get mated in a duel nuptials in the White House. No, don’t have them unite respectively other! We are not trying to supplication to the Gay Community are we? Find one a Democratic Party man and one an Independent Party man to get married. Make positive they didn’t go to an Ivory League institution. Get one from out present at Idaho State and one from Purdue University. Invite me to do the honeymoon.

Don't forget your secondary not to manifestation so in shape.

Play the function that the job is fashioning you ill.

Have your doctor of medicine furnish a buzz similar "The President desires a snooze from the heavy tasks he has had to obverse in this upset world."

This will let you a ordinal leisure time patch attainment commiseration at the said instance.

Happy Poles, Mr. President!



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